Shinden no Ryu

Yeah, I've switched to livejournal. Simply because this one was giving me too many problems with checking comments. Bah. If you even care, its http://www.livejournal.com/users/bakanoryu/ but whatever. I actually think I'll post more regularly there than I do here......well, maybe not. But thats ok. And I haven't left here either. Just...FYI.

Um...wow. The calc AP was apparently really looooong. Longer than it should have been. And probably difficult, if I know calculus. As a result of ~60 juniors and seniors missing, and all the subbies being on a field trip, Chorus was awful. I was the only tenor and I had stuff in my throat ((I think it was cuz I ate a whole bag of cheese before I went to chorus...cheese cubes that is. And ate chocolate.)) and I tried to take a solo that sat on a high F (well, high for a tenor), so I didnt wanna use my normal voice, but I can't hit it really with my head voice either, so I sounded really bad...Also, in Requiem there was this one part where it was just Tenor & Bass. I was the only tenor there, so it was a REALLY exposed part, and instead of singing an Eb, I sang an F, and it sounded awful. Everyone heard it too and turned to look, so that was really embarrassing.

That was the final thing that happened to make me decide firmly not to sing Tenor part next year, even if it means we wont have a tenor section. I seriously dont think my voice can do it. Mabye I should practice...? But we dont ahve a piano and my toaster-organ is broken, and it would be stupid to use Finale to do it. I have to find someway to get a Piano from somewhere that I can use...but I don't even know where in my house we could put it, even if we had one. There's seriously no room anywhere. And it would be impossible to get through any of our doors I think. *sigh* life is soooooooo cruel.

So also the Japanese test was on monday and I thought it was on Tuesday, so I hadn't studied that much, so that sucked. And I got a bad grade on the physics quiz, and my paragraph for history sucked ((although I dont know what grade I got on it), and I spent english class catching up on french homework, but Mme. Lopez lost half of it, which really sucks.

Today, while cutting the grass, I just happened to see a HUGE four leaf clover ((huge for clovers anyway; it wasnt that big, but it caught my eye.)) So I went to look at it and right next to it was a FIVE leaf clover. It was really weird. I decided not to pick it but to leave it there until a later date where I could dig it up and plant it or something...then breed it and make lots of 4-leaf clovers!!! Actually, I probably couldnt do that, but hey, whatever. Its what I was thinkin about then.

So Ma'ayan passed out these ballots today...and we had to vote for people for doing stuff. Under "Best Crew", I wanted to put myself cuz I always work crew...but I figured that would be egotistical and I haven't yet...but I really want to...lol oh well. With that I'll just say that showers are good, and I'm going to go and take one. I just cut the grass and I feel yucky.

Its ridiculous how homophobic people can be, especially Christians. I'm saying this and I'm a Christian myself. My mom just decided to have this long talk with me about how homosexuality is a sin and all this other crap about it, and how the bible says all these things about it.

My whole thing is((I said none of this outloud, I thought it.)) "Well, you don't let your husband order you around, and the bible says that you should. You dont let him punish you for disobeying his commands, but the bible says he could. You dont let him stone us when we, his children, disobey him, but the bible says he should. The bible has only been translated about a thousand times by lazy humans who twisted it to say what they want it to say."

There were thoughts other than that, but its not really important. I really strongly believe that the most important thing Christians are supposed to do is to simply love your neighbor as yourself and love God, and thats that. I personally dont see what loving someone the same gender as you hurts your neighbors (unless you are married already, but thats a different story.)

And by the way, Jesus did forgive someone for cheating on their husband. I think thats waaaaaaaaaay worse than loving someone of the same gender. I don't know what anyone else thinks, but I think that if you are faithful to the one you love, you'll still get into heaven and God will still forgive you for it if it truly is something that pisses Him off.

One thing I dont really like is this "Love the sinner hate the sin" deal that goes around. I think some people have a lot of problems separating the two more than 60% of the time. One moment they can be perfectly nice to you (even "raping" other people (and sometimes of the same gender....hm....makes me wonder) or something) and then the next they have this whole "Don't come near me, it might be contagious!" attitude that leaves you feeling rather perplexed. Its really weird and shit. I don't understand people like that.

Ok, enough bitching about this, I think I've been really touchy about it recently...and I've been complaining about it a lot. I'll stop.

In other news, Barr FINALLY asked Kris (not me) to the prom. :-) so its all good. Lots of people are hooking up fast, Proms gonna be a blast! ((I like my rhyme there; did you?)) I have to get a TB shot on tuesday...yucky. But I think I'm gonna see the Urbana play with Betsy this saturday. Max might be coming...not sure how I feel about that. I already told Betsy that he HATES me, but...she doesnt think so. And I'm gonna go now cuz my computer is being a BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

Bye all! ^_^

Ok, so recently.....I've been busy as hell.

So first, we had college visits over spring break. Out of all the colleges we visited (5 in total) Georgetown wins. ((I may have mentioned this in the last post, but I dont remember and am too lazy to look it up)). American is second, but I might just go there for grad school. It definetely has lots of programs for that. Georgetown was really pretty and was like its own village inside of DC. American wasn't the nicest looking place, but it had a whole school dedicated to my field of interest.

After that, I came back and took the SAT where I had a really small desk and tried to use two but the people moved me over. They weren't very nice at all; no one liked them.

Then I took the ACT the next weekend, which was at Centenial. It was a lot better there.....nice people, nice desks, nice temperature, and lots of friends.

Then I had to write the music for As You Like It and rehearse it with the singers. Well, turns out that added another role int he play for me since I was one of the few non-main characters who COULD sing. And since Cahill left, it was almost a force for me. And then Ridey didnt wanna use Fifens piece, so the string trio played it during intermission. Overall, the play turned out well. I wasn't as excited or nervous as I was about Bye Bye Birdie or Spoon River. Probably because I didnt have any lines to memorize so I knew I couldnt screw up? Yeah, whatever.

So in terms of ICA, MAdelin and I stayed up late for 2 weeks to finish our project. Then, Madelin got sick (temp 103) and the data got lost, so she had to stay up by herself till 4 to finish it. Now she's being tested for Anemia (she had her appendix removed last year). It sucks for her. I hope she gets better really soon. Anywayz, our project was the best, but now ICA might be canceled!!! It really sucks.

More recently, I won the scholarship for Japan!! I'll be in Japan this summer for 6-7 weeks basically for free!! ((Less than $100 per week)). We pay a $500 donation YFU (which basically covers airfare) and they set up the arrangements for host family and tours etc. Its gonna be great.

Also, I have a prom date! :-) I was worried I wouldn't be able to get one, but I asked Hannah and she said yes, so thats a plus for me :-)

The spring fling wasn't that bad this year. Some of the songs sucked, but there were other good songs. We made lots of housing lines towards the end. The very last song I danced between Emily's boyfriend and Nick. It was fun. Shane and I realized two things: Emily dances better than most Black girls I know; Anything she can do on the ground she can do in the air. It was really cool. Shes magical.

Ok, so this wasnt very detailed, but it catches you up. Bye!

I've kicked myself in the ass and I decided to write in this stupid thing. So I'll only put in the most memorable things that have happened in the past 3 weeks.

Ok, so I had confrontations with Mrs. Suslick a lot recently. the problem is that the play is on the same weekend that the ICA summit is. And I obviously choose the play, because last project I had to stay up extra late and finish most of the project. So yeah. Mrs. Suslick blew up at me for it, and she also got mad that I was a part of jazz band and I had missed meetings of ICA for a CLASS.

The next week, I came in a little late and she was like "oh, I thought you had quit on me, I'm sorry for last week, but this week, we really have to get a lot of work done." and I smugly put down our entire project and I was like "oh, anna and I already did the work." The "again" was implied. Loui didnt get on that night, so I couldn't get him to help. Bad Loui! :-P but yeah, he sent me some stuff, so now its cool I must finish it tomorrow. So we worked on that, and then she decided that since anna and I weren't going to the summit, we'd have to do most of the project. So now we have to somehow organize us filming in an actual studio. We'll have to do it, or else she'll get upset at us. Ah...life is so cruel.

Basically, lots of tests and stress recently. Play practice has been relatively uneventful. Mostly that we don't always get a lot done. However, Hugh and I finished our fencing scene, which is good. Now we will teach ariel and meredith. And maybe I will memorize my lines.

Lets see....spring break was good. My family and I went to NC and looked at UNC and Duke and visited friends and relatives there. Then we went to DC and looked at American, Howard, and Georgetown. Howard wasn't diverse enough, and American is really small, and Georgetown is slighlty secluded, but American and Georgetown are great universities. Now we have to look at Emury University down south (I REALLY dont want to go south, but my parents want me to look there) and then at the Ivy League schools a bit. We are hoping they all give need-based scholarships, because we really dont want to pay that much (even though georgetown was more expensive than most of them). So whatever, thats later on.

Um...music is coming along slowly. We will have a strong tenor tomorrow in chorus so I can actually sing bass instead :-) against Kinzies wishes though it may be. Hello to all my friends who I dont see anymore!! I miss you guys!!!

Ok, must leave now and get busy on school work and helping Kinzie with her French. Ta ta!!!

This past week has been relatively uneventful. I now have a new piece to arrange for the string trio, and I am going to send an email to Mrs. Ridenour saying that I won't be able to be full time stage manager b/c I don't think I will be able to do a good enough job and I am worried about the outcome of the play. Or something like that. I guess. I know I won't be able to do it full time, its too big of a commitment.

Ok, so the merit badge seminar was a huge-ass waste of time. I can't wait to be finished with Eagle Scout--then I can leave for good and never go back. I saw Max Rich there and I swear he followed me around cuz whenever I was outta class he was there; it was strange. The only good thing was I got extra pizza cuz some guy didnt want his ticket and gave it to me.

During my afternoon class, someone called me on my cell phone about 5 times, and I was unable to answer each time. However, since my parents stupidly refuse to get caller ID and text messaging, I couldn't find out who was calling NOR could I send them a text message back or respond to one they sent me (which they didnt send me one, but thats besides the point.) Also, the person didn't leave me a message (now that I finally have voicemail), so I never will find out who called me.

This next part might not make much sense b/c I'm gonna copy-paste it from an AIM convo I had cuz I dont feel like typin it all over again.

well, I finally was able to get a chance to sit and watch satelite TV without some kind of sound enhancement (since my dad and brother need it cuz they are hard of hearing). and I was finally able to watch the first LOTR movie. but then my brother comes up from the basement (which has surround sound and all the enhancements). and then he comes up and turns on the surround sound up really really really loud, so that it puts me in physical pain to listen to it. so I say "No, if you want to watch it with sound enhancements, go to the basement, I've been watching this for an hour and you can't just come up here and do that." and so he says no and I say yes etc it goes back and forth and then he tries to fight me over it. so he blacks my eye and lands no other punches/kicks/slaps/scratches cuz I block them all (I'm better at fighting than he is though I don't look it). So I win the overall fight, but now I have a slightly blackened eye. and I hate fighting with people. it sucks. and I don't understand why he's so immature. then our dishwasher stopped up again cuz the builders of the house were cheapasses. I had to empty and dry most of the dishes by myself and dig around in the fuckin dirty water which sucked, and then my grandparents came in and fiddled with ti, so I went to try and pick up where I left off in the movie, but then my grandpa makes me go get some fuckin tools during the part I needed/wanted to see most cuz I didn't really read that much into in the book. so I miss it completely and totally. so now here I am. surrounded by loud Tchaikovsky. I still haven't done the history paper and now I'm too frustrated to do it tonight.

So basically today sucks, and since I haven't done my history paper I won't be able to go paintballing tomorrow cuz I have to do the paper AND go to an OA meeting. Not to mention my school life is so confusing right now, and I don't know where to turn now, and I'm already prayin lots, so there's nothing else to do. Life officially sucks.

Yeah, well, I am. So recently whats happened.....yeah I don't quite remember everything, which is the problem about being busy. So this probably won't make much sense, but thats ok.

First off, I'm really stupid, becaues I agreed to be a part-time stage manager for the play we are doing, which is really stupid and horrible of me. I don't even understand why I said yes...I guess I jsut am really bad at turning people down for stuff. And I'm also in charge of some music stuff with the string trio. But at least apparently Anita is helping out with it to, so its not terrible.

Next...the string trio! Scarlet is still improving, but it still needs work as always. It has a few small dificulties that need to be worked out, but it will make it. I also haven't had much of a chance to work with them on the Primavera Classico one that I wrote, nor have we worked a whole lot on "The Pynk Pyritz Theme". But oh well, we'll get to it. I try not to take up too much of their time, cuz that would be selfish. I just really like hearing stuff I write/arrange. :-P but I can be patient, I love working with them so I have to be.

Next thing is music in general. I hate it after I write something and then a couple of weeks later I come back to it and I see so much stuff thats wrong with it. Its much more difficult to change music than to redraw something like you do with a personal drawing. Its not that its that much worse, but I see ways it could improve. However, I thikn what I'll do is write something new using those same ideas...cuz what I wrote is fine and I'd rather save my new ideas for a new piece I'm writing. Although I do need to finish the whole symphony. The problem is my idea doesn't blend in at all with that theme that keeps reappering...and its in a completely different key and involves much fuller instrumentation...so ya. Its different. And the second movement is starting along pretty well. Still needs LOTS of work though. As in completion so I can do the third movemtna nd the finale. Heh heh heh....I'm so bad at this...

Ok, so one this thats buggin me now is this: whats the difference between thinking you really like someone or if you think you like someone but its actually just a physical attraction? people fool themselves with that all the time...but how can you actually tell? And do you pick and choose who you like, or does it just happen? (lets not argue that its predetermined). The way I feel is that you may love a person for being who they are, but there has to be some sort of physical attraction involved to make yourself kiss them... if you have any kind of response feel free to share them.

Lets talk abotu people now...its scary that guys at our school think teachers are hott...Austin is the sweetest guy on the planet...I hope Kinzie's grandpa feels better soon...Diets are stupid...homophobes/homophobia are/is satan/ical...yeah, thats my bitching session for now. I wont go into details about it.

Lets see....scouts is really getting boring right now, and venture crew is imporving. I still need to finish merit badges and stuff though...Oh, I also met up with my friend from like 3 years ago? haven't seen him in a while, and its good to talk to him....

Ok, lets see, making guys jealous is fun....having good friends is great...history is boring me to death.....Japanese test tomorrow....the whole matter of love and liking people and dating is really confusing....homework sucks, especially when you let someone borrow your textbook and they lose your homework that was in it...

Yep, my life isn't going great but it could be a whole lot worse. I think I'll get Kinzie and Mr. Rayburn each a card hoping their respective relatives feel better. It would be nice of me, and I like being nice to people. Although sometimes I might be too nice and too patient with people...I dunno if thats good ro bad. I certainly don't THINK I let people take advantage of my niceness, cuz I think I would be able to see that stuff. But who knows in this day and age?

Ok, must go to bed and solve beef in the morning. Bye all. Go to Ariels forum and post poems and writings! (I gotta get my butt in there and post as well.)